Lest we never forget...

As 2009 comes to an end, and 2010 looms brightly on the horizon, I'm taking time out to honor the memory of Edward Louis Sclier.

How about you? What about your loved one? What will you do to honor His memory before the New Year?

Why not do what I do. Open what I lovingly refer to as a JOY-nal, set a clock timer for ten minutes, and write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

*tying string around my finger* May we never forget, and may we always remember.



Mourning Quote:

"Don't be afraid your life will end. Be afraid that it will never begin." --Grace Hansen


Mourning Joy:

Q: What's round, has teeth, and bites?

A: A vicious circle.



Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And just remember, always, we're not alone.

Linda Della Donna
...And sometime when I wasn't looking, I got a new life.


Please know, that I welcome your comments. Feel free to send for my free ebook, Treasury of Quotations. Just drop me a line at my name, the at sign, 7th letter of the alphabet with a dotcom at the end.

Griefcase Greetings

Mourning Joy

December 23, 2009 - Griefcase Greetings

"One of the great things about being a writer is that you can make dead people come alive again."--Anna Quindlen

I've been busy working hard at fulfilling my promise to my late husband to write a book. I'm doing better than that, I'm working hard at writing two books. One is a big book, well, not so big, but that one's a memoir about the life and times spent with the best friend a girl ever had. The other book is a different book and for widows only, some little book giving words of encouragement, reminding us all that we're not alone, because when you're a widow, life is different, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm muddling through the process, applying the grief steps to writing, making it through one baby step, er, word, at a time.

I'm putting away my writing stuff for the next few days--Got gifts to wrap, pies to bake, and a tree to decorate. But, before I do, I'm stopping by to extend a joyous holiday greeting to Griefcase readers and thank you one and all for supporting Griefcase in 2009.

I've lit a candle for Edward Louis Sclier, I share it here with you and yours, and on behalf of Griefcase, post a holiday greeting especially for you.

Happy Holidays and a Joyous 2010.

The Good Grief Newsletter - Sample Copy

Coming soon:


The Good Grief Newsletter

Words of mourning joy to speed us on our merry way and help us through one more day--without our loved one by our side
December 17, 2009



Expect the Unexpected

It's a new day. And even though it's *hand over mouth* years since you buried your loved one, you, dear widow, are feeling sad.

It's okay. And to be expected.

Because the Holidays are here and it's the perfect trigger to set us off missing the one we love.

So be prepared, carry a tissue, and don't be afraid to let the tears out.

After that, go get a manicure. Glitter them in crimson and gold. And celebrate!

You can, and you will get through.

Then do what I do. Open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal, set a clocker timer for ten minutes, and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.



Recommended Reading:




Natalie Goldberg's, "Writing Down the Bones"

If you're looking to get started writing down the memories of your loved one, and you have no idea how or where to start, this is the book for you.

Alex the Parrot 1976 - 2007

"See you tomorrow. Be good. I love you."
--Alex the Parrot


He could count.

He could tell you what he wanted to eat.

He could put a smile on the face of anyone who met him.

Who was this? And why was he so extraordinary?

His name was Alex, short for Avian Learning Experiment, and he was a bird, an African Grey Parrot.

Purchased by animal psychologist, Irene Pepperberg, from an ordinary pet store when he was about one year old, Alex grew to become the world's most beloved bird. The subject of a 30-year experiment, Alex communicated his feelings, identified objects, and counted.

Alex was and will be remembered for his genius and intelligent use of the English language.

Today, Griefcase remembers Alex, and welcomes into the club nobody wants to join, Us...because everyone out here in cyberland was saddened by his death.

Hugs to Dr. Pepperberg and her amazing staff.


Mourning Quote:

"Say thank you to the people who teach you, support you, encourage you, and get you a cup of coffee."--Monica Sheehan

Mourning Joy:

Q: What's suntanned, quacks, and runs his country single-handed?

A: A South American duct-tator


After we remember Him, why not do what I do.

Set a clock timer for ten.

Pick up a fastest writing pen.

Open what I lovingly refer to as a JOY-nal...

And write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, All. And remember this, we're not alone.

Janet Elaine Smith--Interview coming soon...

Recently I emailed best-selling author, Janet Elaine Smith and requested an interview. Janet responded in kind with the following. I share it with you today as introduction for what is yet to come and to give insight to this marvelous author who just happens to be a widow...Or is it the other way around? Anyway, with Janet's permission and for your reading pleasure is her email to me.


...I'm off to make some yummy cranberry bar cookies, then snickerdoodles, then to organ/piano practice this afternoon and then a gal coming over to visit for a while. In between there someplace I have to finish up two magazine articles (both which involve some phone interviews).

Would you like a sneak peek at what I am doing for Christmas eve?

Our little church has a sort of talent show/cookie snack program. Two ladies who are also alone are going to come over here for oyster stew (I have a super good recipe if you want it). Ivan and I always had oyster stew for Christmas eve supper. The kids wouldn't touch it, so they had pizza. Never did any of us mix the two! LOL! We also had oyster stew at home on Christmas eve when I was growing up.


Anyway, for my talent part, I am going to tell about my Grandma Hallett (my dad's mom) and how she had a beautiful voice, but she seldom sang. But on Christmas she always sang Silent Night in German. (Her mom was German and her dad Swiss.) Then I'm going to play and sing the first verse in German. Then I will tell about my mom's music box that she got from her dad (Grandpa Snitzelbaum--long story about that name), and I will play a piano rendition like it was on her music box. Then I will tell about Silent Night in Venezuela and at the Mexican-American Christmas parties we always had for the kids in Grand Forks, and then I will sing the first verse in Spanish. Then I will play my own piano arrangement, a la Roger Williams style. LOL!

So, what do you think?
Janet

Well, Janet, I think you're one super lady who lends hope and inspiration to all us widows feeling a bit lonely wondering how we're going to get through the holidays without Him by our side.

Thanks for the email. Look forward to our interview--coming soon.

:)L

Who We Are -- Meet Jill Plummer

As every reader here at Griefcase knows, mourning the death of a spouse is not for cissies. It is a solo journey each one of us must make, and a painful one. In a perfect world, a map and compass would be provided to help us through. But as we all know, this is not a perfect world.

Each one of us is special. Each one of us has a story. Each one of us wants her husband back. By sharing our stories, we gain strength, renew confidence, and send the glowing message to widows throughout the world that we're not alone.

This is Jill's story. These are Jill's words.

Thank you, Jill, for being here.

And profound condolences on the death of your husband.

Meet Jill Plummer.

Griefcase: Jill, what can you share with readers about yourself?

Jill: I live in a suburb just out of Sydney, Australia, in an upstairs apartment, which is on one of the main roads out of Sydney, so it is quite busy outside my window. I work five days a week for a pathology company, typing medical reports. (It) keeps me busy. I am 58 years old (sometimes I feel a whole lot older).

My favourite hobby is travelling, followed closely by photography.

No pets in my life as I don't have the room where I live and as I am not here during the day, it wouldn't be fair on them. No family to speak of. Just me.

Griefcase: How long are you a widow? What about your husband, what can you tell us about him?

Jill: I have been a widow for 28 months and 6 days (but whose counting?).

I met my wonderful husband, Bob, in 1994.

It was a second time around for both of us. He always used to tell me that he had waited 50 years for me. We met at a country music show. He was there to watch the band as I was.

We used to see each other at the shows, which used to be once a week. We just used to say hi and joke between ourselves never thinking anything of it. Then one night the woman who had driven me to the show had to leave and told me she would organise a lift home for me. Guess who she asked? You guessed it. Bob, of course. She didn't know, neither did I, that this lift home would be the start of the most wonderful and important relationship of my life. We just clicked. He (Bob) showed me what real love was, always made me feel special. We were never apart from that day.

We were together for 13 years. The best 13 years of my life. I wouldnt have missed it for the world.

Griefcase: Where would you say you are in your grief journey?

Jill: Well, let me see, the first year I found myself on the outside looking in on a world that was very foreign to me. A lot of numbness, and I was just going through the motions. Emotions were like a rollercoaster, tears would flow for no reason. At work, I kept up a brave face and everyone said how well I was coping. Then I decided that I didn't need to do that anymore. If I felt down, then I would let them know it was a bad day. The bad days have spaced out a bit more now. The intense pain has eased a little, it still lies deep in my heart, but I have learnt through reading a lot of books that this is all part of the evil plan that grief has. I have found that if you try to hurry it (grief) up, it just jumps up and says, Hey, slow down.

The second year was worse than the first, I found. I guess it is the realisation that I am alone (which I don't really mind). I miss Bob so much, but I know he is watching out for me.

I went on a world trip earlier this year (10 weeks). It was great and I know Bob would have enjoyed seeing all that I did. While I was away, it was busy and it was an organised trip, but when I came home, the loss really hit home so hard. I found it so hard to get back on an even keel, but one day at a time was the way I did it. I still have bad days, but not as many. Bob lives on in my heart and my memories, and I am thankful for all the good times we had together.

Griefcase: What is the hardest thing you have had to do since burying your husband?

Jill: The hardest thing is just living without him.

All the little things that you take for granted. Like holding hands, hugs, kisses. Even going shopping.

...Realising we are not going to grow old together.

Griefcase: What life's lesson have you learned since becoming a widow?

I have learnt that I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. I can do so many things I never thought I would be able to do. Travelling the world was a major achievment.

Griefcase: Any advice for a woman newly widowed?

Jill: I would say to a new widow, "You are not alone."

The feelings you are having are all part of a process that no one would ever want to go through, but you will get through it. The pain will always be there, but it becomes manageable. If you have a bad day, don't worry about it, let your feelings take you where you need to be.

I always find one day at a time works, if not one day, then one hour at a time is also good. Your own grief will let you know where you should be.

Also remember you are not going mad and that these feelings have to be experienced even though they hurt like hell sometimes. Always remember memories can never be taken away. Your loved one is always around keeping an eye on us.

Griefcase: Any plans for your future? Where do you see yourself one year from today?

Jill: Hmmm, I don't usually think that far ahead, but I want to travel more.

...I think in twelve months time I will be a stronger woman who still misses her man a lot, but is able to deal with all the trials and tribulations that grief is going to throw at me.




Jill Plummer can be found on Facebook. Why not stop by and pay her a visit.

Happy Thanksgiving

Dear Readers,

From my heart to your hearts...sincerest best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving.

What I'm thankful for:

I'm thankful for you. Because of you, I write.

:)L

Retired Army Col. Norbert Otto Schmidt

"My mom's never going to recover from the thought of my dad being dumped in some alleyway someplace." --Carol Schmidt


Just when I think I've heard everything, I hear something that changes my mind.

Today we welcome into the club nobody wants to join, Donna Schmidt, wife of Retired Army Col. Norbert Otto Schmidt.

On August 4, 2009, in Satellite Beach, FL, Donna's husband died. He was 83.

In 1949, Col. Schmidt graduated West Point, he served in the Korean War as a member of the 65th Engineers and received two Purple Hearts and the Bronze Star. Col. Schmidt had a Master's in Civil Engineering from Harvard and a PhD at the Uiversity of Illinois.

Later, he became an engineering professor at the University of Missouri in Rolla.

On November 13, Col. Schmidt was set to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery--But--

Someone broke into the family's rented van parked outside the hotel they were staying at and stole the urn with the Col's ashes in it.

On the long list of ugly, this one rockets to the top.

Family members offer a $1,000 cash reward.


To Donna Schmidt, the entire Schmidt family, Griefcase extends its condolences and wishes for mourning joy all the days of your lives.

After we honor Him, do what I do--open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal and write something. Go ahead. I dare you.



Mourning Quote:

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." --John Lennon

Mourning Joy:
Q: What is alive and has only 1 foot?

A: A leg

Have a joyful day, and remember, we're not alone.

:)L

Mike Monsoor - 4/5/1981 - 9/29/2006

Navy Petty Officer, PO2 Petty Officer, Second Class)
EOD2 (Explosive Ordinance Disposal, Second Class)
"MIKE MONSOOR"
April 5th, 1981 ~ September 29th, 2006



Mike Monsoor, was awarded "The Congressional Medal Of Honor" last week for giving his life in Iraq as he jumped on and covered with his body a live hand grenade that was accidentally dropped by a Navy Seal, saving the lives of a large group of Navy Seals that was passing by!

During Mike Monsoor's Funeral, at Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery, in San Diego, California, the six pallbearers removed the rosewood casket from the hearse. Lined up on each side of Mike Monsoor's casket, were his family members, friends, fellow sailors, and well-wishers. The column of people continued from the hearse, all the way to the grave site.


What the group didn't know at the time was, every Navy Seal (45 to be exact) that Mike Monsoor saved that day was scattered throughout the column!

As the pallbearers carried the rosewood casket down the column of people to the grave side, the column would collapse, which formed a group of people that followed behind.

Every time the rosewood casket passed a Navy Seal, he would remove his gold Trident Pin from his uniform, and slap it down hard, causing the gold Trident Pin to embed itself to the top of the wooden casket!

Then the Navy Seal would step back from the column, and salute!

Now for those (And Me) who do not know what a Trident Pin is or what it looks like, here is the definition and a photo.

After one completes the Basic Navy Seals Program, which lasts for three weeks, and is followed by Seal Qualification Training, which is 15 more weeks of training necessary to continue improving basic skills and to learn new tactics and techniques required for an assignment to a Navy Seal Platoon.

After successful completion, trainees are given their Naval Enlisted Code, and are awarded The Navy Seal Trident Pin.

With this gold pin they are now officially Navy Seals!

It was said that you could hear each of the 45 slaps from across the cemetery!

By the time the rosewood casket reached the grave site, it looked as though it had a gold inlay from the 45 Trident Pins that lined the top!






Griefcase extends eternal gratitude, sincerest condolences, and best wishes for mourning joy to every member of the Monsoor family.



Mourning Joy:

Something I learned from my son when he was a boy:

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

Mourning Quote:

Anything that you tolerate, stays with you. --Cool J

After we remember Him, do what I do--fingerhug your pen. Open what I lovingly refer to as a Joy-nal, and write something. '

Go ahead.

I dare you!

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone! And just remember, we're not alone.

:)L

Mourning Quote by Christopher Morley

There is really only one success--to be able to spend your life in your own way.

Twitter and Linda Della Donna

Hello Everyone,

As you may already know, I'm in the process of writing a book thing. It is to fulfill a promise I made to my late husband, Edward Louis Sclier, the night he died. That was five years ago. It's been a struggle to survive losing my best friend and husband. More than that, it is hard moving forward in my new life with this deep dark secret promise gnawing at me.

So I invite you to follow me on Twitter, I'm there as Linda Della Donna.

I sure could use your encouragement and help in motivating me through the next few months.

It's time to reassure me that we're not alone, and that I'm not out here in cyber space typing into the wind.

Wishing you mourning joy, all the days of your lives,

Linda

As always, wishing you mourning joy all the days of your lives!

Thanks,

Linda

Patrick Swayze - August 18, 1952 - September 14, 2009

"I keep dreaming of a future with a long and healthy life, a life not lived in the shadow of cancer, but in the light...I dream that the word 'cure' will no longer be followed by the words 'is impossible.'" --Patrick Swayze

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Today we honor the memory of Patrick Swayze, famous star of Dirty Dancing, and welcome into the club nobody wants to join, his widow, Lisa Niemi.

Patrick died September 14, 2009 with family by his side.

He leaves wife, Lisa, extended family, celebrities, and celebrated fans to mourn his passing.

He was age 57. He and Lisa were married 34 years.

To Patrick's wife, Lisa Niemi, Griefcase extends deepest sympathies and best wishes for mourning joy all the days of your life.


Mourning Joy:

What is Count Dracula's favorite food?

A necktarine!


Mourning Quote:

"What is there that forgiveness cannot achieve?" --Vidura


After we remember Him, why not write something.

Set a clock-timer for ten, pick up a fast writing pen, open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal and write like the wind.

Go ahead.

I dare you!

And remember, we're not alone.

A Tuesday

Life changes in an instant. -- Joan Didion

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Today is Tuesday, November 3, 2009. Happy Tuesday!

I've posted a photo of Spooky and his latest catch. See how proud Spooky is.

I didn't much used to care for Spooky. I didn't like his big fat tummy. Or, the way he'd strut into a room and growl at me for seemingly no reason at all.

But when I saw what Spooky had done, he caught that mousey, and how proud he was, I dedided it was time to like Spooky. He absolutely earned my respect.

That's called change.

Wouldn't you agree?

I've been through a lot in this life--I miss Ed every day. But I've learned though I can't change Ed being dead, I can sure change the way I feel about his death.

Mourning Joy:

What is Oscar the Grouch called when he has bad posture?


Oscar the Slouch!

Mouning Quote:

And one day when I wasn't looking, I got a new life. Linda Della Donna *I just couldn't resist.*

After we remember Him, why not pick up your pen and write something.

Set a clock timer for ten minutes. Open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal,

and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone! And just remember, we're not alone!

xxoo:)L

Always My Brother--Written by Jean Reagan, with illustrations by Phyllis Pollema-Cahill

Make room for a new picture book on your child's bookshelf. Always My Brother by Jean Reagan, with illustrations by Phyllis Pollema-Cahill.

Always My Brother is the poignant story of a young girl mourning the loss of her brother.

As the story unfolds, we see Becky playing a game of soccer with her brother, John, joined by their pet dog, Toby. They skip and they laugh. They love life and each other. It is a moment captured magically in soft language by Jean Reagan with delicate illustrations by Phyllis Pollema-Cahill.

We soon learn about Becky and how changed her life is after the death of her beloved brother, John. No longer is John here to cheer her up in difficult times, or help her out with soccer practice. She is left to miss her brother and work through her grief, alone. When Becky returns to school, we feel her pain--Becky is uncomfortable facing friends, has difficulty playing a favorite game, and feels guilty for laughing at a friend's birthday party. She wants everything to be the way it was before her brother's death.

Time inches forward, seasons change, and so does Becky. Dressed in bathrobe, gazing out a window one wintry day, she stands alongside her mother and announces, "One morning, watching Toby roll in the snow, I actually laughed out loud."

Through Always My Brother a young reader learns the valuable lesson that there is life after death, as well as joy and laughter, and that it is okay to remember a dead loved one. It is a lump-in-your-throat book that will tug at your heartstrings and leave you feeling glad all over long after you have returned it to its place on your bookshelf.

Always My Brother available at Amazon (Hardcover - May 2009) $13.22.

The following is the book tour schedule for "Always My Brother."

Won't you please follow this wonderful book as it makes the rounds on its internet journey.

Also, if you enjoyed reading my review, or just wish to say, "Hi," I would appreciate it if you would leave a comment.If you do, you just might win a prize.

How about it?

Thanks.

And Heeeeeeeeeere's the schedule!:


Nov. 1 — Welcome from Tilbury House
Nov. 2 — Griefcase
Nov. 3 — Author Jean Reagan's
Nov. 4 — Healing the Grieving Heart
Nov. 5 — Grief Speaks
Nov. 6 — Chronicles of an Infant Bibliophile
Nov. 7 — heartfeltwords4kids
Nov. 8 — I Did Not Know What to Say
Nov. 9 — Moziesme
Nov. 10 — Anastasia Suen
Nov. 11 – Maw Books
Nov. 12 — Author Emily Wing Smith
Nov. 13 — Bri Meets Books

Just to let you know--

7 lucky winners from all of those who leave comments on participating tour posts (Nov.1-13) are eligible to win one of the following prizes:

- A copy of Always My Brother signed by author Jean Reagan (5 available)*
- A set of 10 winter notecards with art by illustrator Phyllis Pollema-Cahill (2 available)

* Winners are welcome to designate a grief center, school, or library to receive their signed copy in their place.

All winners will be announced after the tour. US/Canada addresses only, please.

Twitter Prize

Everyone that tweets about the tour using the hashtag #AlwaysTour from November 1-13 will be entered to win a set of three children's books from Tilbury House — your choice! Winners will be announced after the tour, US/Canada addresses only, please.

For More Information :

Tilbury House, Publishers: http://tilburyhouse.com/childrens/always-my-brother.htm
Teachers Take Note (educational resources) for Always My Brother: http://tilburyhouse.com/childrens/always-my-brother-teachers-take-note.htm
The story behind Always My Brother: http://jeanreagan.com/story_behind.htm
Phyllis Pollema-Cahill's illustration process: http://www.phylliscahill.com/alwaysstepbystep/alwaysstepbystep.html

Be Happy!

"Survivors look back and see omens, messages they missed." --Joan Didion

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Today is the start of a new week.

My new week.

I plan to spend some time writing, perhaps scribble a draft of a new chapter in the book I am writing.

I like to read. I plan to crack the spine of one I just purchased.

I like my home office. The floor is a carpet of notebooks, old journals, newspapers, and bits and pieces of paper napkins with more scribbles. I am forever organizing, reorganizing, filing, and refiling. I plan to do some of that, also.

After, perhaps before, I plan a slow walk, a time to simply smell the roses, feel the crackle of autumn leaves under the soles of my bare feet!

What about you?

How will you spend your day?

Mourning Quote:

"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'Check enclosed.'"

Mourning Joy:

What do you get when you cross a tape measure with a steam roller?

Flat feet.

After we remember Him, do what I do. Open what I lovingly refer to as a Joy-nal and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And just remember, we're not alone.

A Sunday

Coming again to life was a hard but good thing. Life was in front of me now; the glove had been thrown down. I could not back away from the world; my temperment and my curiosity about what lay ahead made certain of this. Life had to be taken up again: the ribbons, woven flat against the Maypole, had to be unwound.

--Kay Redfield Jamison

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Today is a Sunday. It is New Grandson's First Birthday.

There is little time to post. I'm late for the bakery to pick up a first birthday cake, late for the gathering planned at a distant location. My son and his wife, I call her "Daughter," are looking forward to seeing me. What joy!

Just stopping by to show you Grandson's Halloween picture--He's a monkey!

Mourning Quote:

"...Awareness is learning to keep yourself company." --Geneen Roth

Mourning Joy:

Why don't pigs drive cars?

Because they would become road hogs.

After we remember Him, why not pick up a pen and write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

:)L

Have a joy filled day. And always remember, we're not alone.